Today we talk about happiness in the family.

«We often see that children have a responsibility from young age and are asked to contribute. They are raised to be aware of their responsibility to contribute to society and to take care of others.»

Which difference makes a difference in Danish families?
For Danish families it is common that both parents are working and very common that all children are in childcare. Often public childcare. It is also common to live together as a family, and have siblings and grandparents living further away, spread over the country. Raising children in Denmark is about making them independent and help them grow into responsible adults. We often see that children have a responsibility from young age and are asked to contribute. They are raised to be aware of their responsibility to contribute to society and to take care of others.

Is there any “formula” in the Danish collective unconscious for families to live in harmony?
Many families want to live in harmony. But in Denmark the divorce rate is also very high. So I also think that many Danes want to always be able to pursue what they find best. And sometimes that does not mean keeping the family together. Danes focus on their freedom as an important value as well.

«In Denmark we have a culture where children are taught to understand a message and to take responsibility, rather than being physically punished.»

In many European countries, shouting, spanking and punishment inflicted on children are still socially accepted and defended. What do you think about these practices?
In Denmark it is forbidden by law to hit or hurt children in any way. And in Denmark we have a culture where children are taught to understand a message and to take responsibility, rather than being physically punished.

How do you believe that can we educate for happiness?
We can be aware of our own happiness first. We are responsible for our own happiness – and we are responsible for the happiness of people around us. And then we can educate by informing people about what creates happiness. That means, for example, that social relations and a good health are more important than a raise in income. At the Institute we try to educate and inform people. And we hope to reach many people every year and to make them work on creating happiness as well.

«We are responsible for our own happiness – and we are responsible for the happiness of people around us.»

How can we free a mother from the burden of a family?
We find that mothers are often happy in their families, but we can also see that there is something called “parental gap”, where parents will experience a decrease in happiness, when they have children, but then an increase when they have grandchildren. We find that this is due to more worries arising when we have children. This can be prevented with good family policies, as in countries like Denmark, Sweden and the Netherlands. Here the gap is smaller because parents will not have to worry with schools or hospitals for their children. And there will be good childcare and many ways to be a family, which will make it easier to find the form that fits each individual family.

Kindness, trust, empathy, equal value… these are the key to a happy family?
Yes, we find that good and strong social ties are important. And the values you mention are positive to creating strong social ties. As well as freedom to make our own life choices.

What still needs to be done to have a world where families live in harmony, and where equal value and responsibility prevail?
We think that good family policies and a political awareness to take care of the needs of families and children are important to achieve this goal.

O conteúdo The secret of the happiest families on Earth aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.

Being my daughters Venezuelans (one by birth) we keep close ties with that immensely big country.

And that’s how I got to the CEO of Google Mexico, the also Venezuelan Maria Teresa Arnal that has participated, last March in the #4womenforum.

The speaker chose the subject: “Leading a company and raising a family “.

During her presentation, María announced the seven steps for female success.

Interestingly to feel that I already practice them for so long and that they meet the teachings of one of the inspiring women of my mission – Virgínia Satir.

In her declaration of self-esteem, Satir speaks masterfully about the difference that makes the difference.

Before I share with you what are the Google steps, I just want to remember that: “success” is one of the many words that we all use and accept without questioning. They are words lacking substance.

It’s level of abstraction allows that every person gives it the meaning he/she wishes. In NLP, they are part of the linguistic patterns called “nominalisms”.

Now yes, seven steps for female success:

1 – Know  yourself

First of all, you should put aside the expectations of others about you. Establish who you are, who you want to be, what life you want to live and where you want to get to!

Always remember: you’re the only guide of your life! And, this is something we work on so much in my coaching sessions with NLP for women.

2 – Surround yourself of those who make you grow

Have you heard of toxic people? Stay away! Have nearby people that you connect with, that motivates you and, that are, themselves, responsible of successful stories

3 – Find a job that aligns with your life

You want to travel and know the world? You can see yourself through this dream? You want a quiet life that allows you to be a mother and a CEO simultaneously?

You can also see yourself through this dream? In which company would you like to work? There’s the essence of what you want to do.

4 – Build your support network

This goes from superiors to friends, family, partner, people who help you at home.

The goal is that they are people you trust and that support you at any moment, whether they ‘re happy moments or the most critical ones.

5 – Learn to prioritize

It’s important that you have time for yourself and that it reflects in your schedule. What’s the % of time you devote to your job?

What’s the % that you devote to your family? To your friends? To your hobbies? Include in the list the activities that you don’t have time for and think.

6 – No pain, no gain

Remember that sacrifice is part of the game! You must be conscious of it and of what you’re willing to do for it.

And when you make a choice that involves sacrifice, keep in mind that it will bring rewards with it.

Here I had a detail that makes all the difference: pain exists, it push us further, suffering is optional.

7 – Give more to the World

Don’t forget that is always someone you can do more for. To María Teresa Arnal is important to remember that “that is a special place in hell for the women who were horrible to other women.”

I don’t know if that is so, I just know that accordingly with my world model, I’m happy “doing well without regards”.

Probably you’re realizing you already practice several of these seven steps for female success. And how good it is.

O conteúdo Seven steps for female success aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.