Since Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) deals with what specifically works well, I investigated the patterns and found the answer!

The difference that makes the difference

It is the daily practice of heart and brain meditations that generates change at the energy level. I already mentioned in previous articles that the heart influences the brain and vice versa. And this can be a harmonious and coherent dance or a survival and chaotic dance (which is where much of humanity tends to live, particularly in the these years). Do we choose maintain chaos and disconnection? Is this that we want to keep perpetuating for generations?!

– No!!

Relax, close your eyes, focus and surrender

If we want to guide our children, being ourselves, parents, educators, teachers… an example of what we want to see in the world, with oneness, we can opt for relaxation, focus on the heart and generate generative emotions. When this happens, the heart begins to produce a very low rate, only possible with the heart rate. Science now shows that this meditative practice makes us more creative. The heart informs the brain that it is safe to create, to awaken, to create consciousness to live and strive rather than survive. And this is how we begin to see possibilities, light, where before we saw obstacles and darkness.

The science behind generative parenting

My heart seems to burst with joy every time a new article is published in a scientific journal confirming generative parenting practices. Because NLP, created 50 years ago, one of the pillars of GP, is not science, nor psychology, nor psychotherapy. Still, today, the latest advances in science (especially the vast majority of confirmations from my dear HeartMath scientists), demonstrate everything that NLP has given us brought from the beginning, when it was still called META.

Goodbye degenerative emotions

This harmonious and coherent dance between the heart and the brain allows us to generously and gratefully say goodbye to degenerative emotions, those that take away our vital energy, that put us on the survival side: stress, anxiety, worry… We now broaden horizons and see possibilities. In other words, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system, responsible for the conscious creation of our lives! Why? Because we begin to generate generative emotions, which nourish our energy by expanding it to those around us.

I explained the process in my talk at the Global NLP Online Summit India. You find here a little taste:

All this to say that the more relaxed we live in our heart, the more our brain and body open to energy. When we are no longer focused on survival, anxious, worried about dangers, threats, about the next moment – and we already know that where we put the focus, we put the energy – the body is super relaxed, calm and the mind more awake and aware.

Because just as degenerative emotions have the power to activate the sympathetic nervous system, generative emotions do it in the opposite direction, generating physical, mental and spiritual well-being. In us, in our children and in the Planet!

The secondary effect of heart-brain coherence

We start living in ourselves, conscious and joyful. Is there a better gift for a child than having parents that embody presence? Parents who vibrate unconditional love and acceptance?!

This coherent energy raises our consciousness and we feel safe to create from the unknown. That is to say, we leave the three-dimensional reality: cause – effect and we go on to live in the quantum reality, causing an effect.

I share with you a testimony of someone who experienced for the first time the “heart-brain coherence” meditation I developed for PG:

And that is why those who are truly committed to the daily practice of generative parenting see infinite possibilities. And no, that does not mean that we do not have obstacles in life. It means that we welcome, integrate and transcend the wisdom that each of the obstacles offers us, with the elegance of dance, a coherent heart and brain. It means that we choose to assign new meanings to the events of our lives. Meanings that allow us to consciously self (re)parent. Only then can we guide our children!!

And now, do we choose to open our hearts or not?

O conteúdo The science of heart-brain coherence into parenting aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.

And I’m right now, on my way to UCSC, for the second consecutive year. The energy that it’s felt is incomparable, the exchange with the co-authors of NLP, with the mother of NLP – Judith DeLozier with Robert Dilts and other members and trainers of NLPU, from dozens of different nationalities, is indescribably generative, it is taught and practiced third generation NLP, and almost fourth generation.

Here, there is space for individual growth supported by the collective, without judgements, without prejudices, without demands and rules based on limiting beliefs. Here, each BEING is unique and with its own light, it exists because it deserves it, it shines and has a mission that is being fulfilled. There is space for vulnerability. It is the harmonious symmetry between soul and ego. And it’s also the confidence that we’re working and evolving in our best version.

And it’s no surprise that the field has this energy. This college is based on a democracy that encourages the community towards a strong feeling of belonging and engagement. The vision of this college is of a place where students feel happy, can be creative and work in community and individually.

Today Kresge College is named Carl Rogers College. The humanist psychologist that has been modelled by NLP. The same that made Kresge College a case study, in a groundbreaking academic experiment where it was possible to create a community across university boarders, as Grinder describes in the book “Origins”

And it’s also in Carl Rogers that most of the Parenting with NLP practices are based on. Being one of them:

Unconditional Love versus Conditional Love

Rogers believed that people know what is good for them and they can find what they need in nature and family. I also believe that exists, in each of us, an element that knows what is best. I mention that on my book “Mothers of the World” – NLP at the service of education with ethics. The difficulty, according to Rogers, arises when society and culture develop mechanisms that counter those potentially harmonious relationships.

And among the most harmful is what he calls “conditional appreciation”. In other words, Conditional Love!

When family, school, society only fulfill the needs of a child or an adult if they prove they’re worthy. Is what happens in traditional parenting, when parents reward the “good” behavior with love and punish children when they show behaviors the parents consider “bad”. For example, when they get a sweet if they eat the soup and no PlayStation if they won’t eat.

Children that live in this kind of environment become slaves of compliments, rewards and prizes. They inevitably become egocentrics. Now, when the other, that so many times is your child, feels he has equal value, equal dignity, when his needs, wishes, ideas and emotions have equal value,
when he feels that he exists, he is seen, listen to, that he is respected and acknowledged – he’s facing Unconditional Love.

This child or adult will grow up and live with self-esteem, he will feel that he is much more than his behavior and that behavior is always the best he can and know at each moment! This is Parenting with NLP.

Now, I will keep on living on Unconditional Love and immerse myself in new sensations, emotions and knowledge, the result of modeling world leaders of excellency. I invite you to follow me on Instagram and Facebook.

In the meantime, if it’s your case, I wish you highly generative holidays and life, and filled with Unconditional Love.

With love and gratitude,

Rita

O conteúdo NLP and Unconditional Love versus Conditional Love aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.