“The family is the great human cause.”

 Talking about NLP & Generative Parenting is necessarily talking about conscious, generative families. I believe the family is the great human cause, whatever kind of family it is. We are all the fruit of a family, so it is something that cuts across the whole of humanity.

Forget the term ‘traditional family’, it is another myth. No family is that. Although they may seem similar, they are all different. Each family creates and lives its own story according to what makes the most sense to them. And what makes the most sense is often inherited from previous generations. Psychology has already shown that we carry seven generations on our shoulders. Therefore, if we inherit beliefs and values that do not serve us and we perpetuate them unconsciously, we are necessarily undermining the following seven generations. This is food for thought. In Tolstoy’s novel, Anna Karenina, we can read that “all happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” It deserves reflection, as well as this urgent call to live the family, that place of vulnerability, of matches and mismatches of souls, where the shadow and light of each member are seen and heard. Family is not a perfect place, thankfully. It is, in the words of the mother of family systemic therapy, Virginia Satir, the microcosm of society.

Generative families are compasses for life

In the proposal of NLP & Generative Parenting, there is hope. Everyone can be who they actually were born to be. Each generative family is called to live its treasure. Each generative family has its own vocation. Each generative family is a compass for a life full of love, hospitality and hope, with clear, well-defined intentions.

My personal and professional experience tells me that the parent-child relationship can be the most generative and spiritual of all. It is not a coincidence that I share that the best personal development I know is this, besides volunteering. It is in the (generative) family that we find freedom and a safe place to be better persons. For each fall, there is a hug coming. For each achievement, another hug. For each “failure” (feedback), another hug. It is where we experience equal value and dignity, authenticity, the practice of responsibility and respect. Inclusion is a flag that flies alongside congruence. Difficulties are seen as opportunities for common growth, creating space for creativity to play its part and dazzle everyone with something never experienced before.

In a generative family, love is a conscious invitation

In a generative family, love is a conscious invitation, without effort or attachment, without guilt or criticism, with curiosity, in proximity. It is the experience of unconditional love.

In a generative family, the unifying force lies in the unwavering trust of affective bonds, those that welcome, integrate and transcend the unique gift of oneself, placing themselves, as a family, at the service of something greater, for the common good – not rationally, but intentionally and generously, with humility. Generative families believe in relationships of love, of presence with quality, relationships that expand, they do not believe in relationships of power and manipulation. These families also believe that these are decisive steps towards a generative change, for building our humanity and a better world.

And you, how do you live your family?

What legacy do you want to pass on to the following generations?

O conteúdo NLP & Generative Parenting is a manifesto for the family aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.

Traditional forms of educations have failed. Now, we need to make a serious, conscious and in-depth reflection on what our intentions as parents and educators are, and what resources we really want to use to reach the answers that will enable us to create a harmonious, responsible and sustainable future for the humanity.

Parenting that starts with NLP and progresses to NLP & Generative

When I launched this new parenting proposal, I lovingly called it Parenting with NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). When I completed my certification as NLP Trainer and Consultant, and later in Generative Coaching, I felt that, just like me, this parenting went one level up, and should therefore be renamed – NLP & Generative Parenting. As Robert Dilts tells us, the generative part of this work arises from creativity, from creating something totally new, something that did not exist before.

“I raised my children, with my wife, using Neuro-Linguistic Programming (PNL) a lot”
Robert Dilts

The co-creator of Generative Work – Generative Coaching and Generative Consulting – recalls that: “the generative part in parenting, in families, is extraordinarily decisive. When we try to get somewhere that is unknown, even if other parents have gone through something similar, we create a unique new path that requires very specific tools and practices.” Robert Dilts assures that “this is, most likely, the most important field for introducing a generative change.”

In our delightful conversation, Robert confesses, “I raised my children, with my wife, using Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) a lot and introducing the principles of generative change, so that they could be in the world with self-esteem and positive attitudes.” Also, “so that they could grow up with strategies that enable them to succeed on their own.” The co-developer of NLP is proud of his two children, what they bring to the world and his own job as a parent. His blue eyes become even brighter when he recalls “their sense of confidence, their positive look towards life, their self-abilities,” something that, at first, “they emulate from parents and then is supported by parents,” he concludes.

Parenting that combines NLP with generative coaching and creates generative change

“The person I am is best expressed in the world.”
Robert Dilts

This proposal “teach us how to communicate effectively, how we can empower others, especially children, so that they can be themselves, guiding them at the same time,” he reinforces.

NLP & Generative Parenting reveals you the most effective conscious practices let you really know yourself, to make you reach your essence and find out “where you belong in the family and in the world, how you can bring about and live that identity,” Robert Dilts adds. Thus, the “channel is open and the person I am is best expressed in the world.” “I cannot find anything more important for a parent or teacher than doing this with a child,” he assures.

And you, do you choose to join us in this generative shift to a better world?

You are very welcome!

O conteúdo NLP & Generative Parenting by Robert Dilts and Rita Aleluia aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.