Today we talk about happiness in the family.

«We often see that children have a responsibility from young age and are asked to contribute. They are raised to be aware of their responsibility to contribute to society and to take care of others.»

Which difference makes a difference in Danish families?
For Danish families it is common that both parents are working and very common that all children are in childcare. Often public childcare. It is also common to live together as a family, and have siblings and grandparents living further away, spread over the country. Raising children in Denmark is about making them independent and help them grow into responsible adults. We often see that children have a responsibility from young age and are asked to contribute. They are raised to be aware of their responsibility to contribute to society and to take care of others.

Is there any “formula” in the Danish collective unconscious for families to live in harmony?
Many families want to live in harmony. But in Denmark the divorce rate is also very high. So I also think that many Danes want to always be able to pursue what they find best. And sometimes that does not mean keeping the family together. Danes focus on their freedom as an important value as well.

«In Denmark we have a culture where children are taught to understand a message and to take responsibility, rather than being physically punished.»

In many European countries, shouting, spanking and punishment inflicted on children are still socially accepted and defended. What do you think about these practices?
In Denmark it is forbidden by law to hit or hurt children in any way. And in Denmark we have a culture where children are taught to understand a message and to take responsibility, rather than being physically punished.

How do you believe that can we educate for happiness?
We can be aware of our own happiness first. We are responsible for our own happiness – and we are responsible for the happiness of people around us. And then we can educate by informing people about what creates happiness. That means, for example, that social relations and a good health are more important than a raise in income. At the Institute we try to educate and inform people. And we hope to reach many people every year and to make them work on creating happiness as well.

«We are responsible for our own happiness – and we are responsible for the happiness of people around us.»

How can we free a mother from the burden of a family?
We find that mothers are often happy in their families, but we can also see that there is something called “parental gap”, where parents will experience a decrease in happiness, when they have children, but then an increase when they have grandchildren. We find that this is due to more worries arising when we have children. This can be prevented with good family policies, as in countries like Denmark, Sweden and the Netherlands. Here the gap is smaller because parents will not have to worry with schools or hospitals for their children. And there will be good childcare and many ways to be a family, which will make it easier to find the form that fits each individual family.

Kindness, trust, empathy, equal value… these are the key to a happy family?
Yes, we find that good and strong social ties are important. And the values you mention are positive to creating strong social ties. As well as freedom to make our own life choices.

What still needs to be done to have a world where families live in harmony, and where equal value and responsibility prevail?
We think that good family policies and a political awareness to take care of the needs of families and children are important to achieve this goal.

O conteúdo The secret of the happiest families on Earth aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.

The mother-child or father-child relationship is the most important relationship of your whole existence! Accept consciously this invitation and open your heart, watch as your child flies.

10 Questions for you to reflect on:

1. Do you really want your child to be a ‘mini-version’ of you?
Just because you brought him/her to life or you conceive him/her, it does not mean that he/she belongs to you. He/she has his/her own essence, soul and mission on this Planet, totally different from yours. Just like you, your child is a unique BEING that deserves to exist just as he/she is! Accepting your child is the first step for your connection.

2. What would happen if you let go the need to have your child asking for your approval constantly?
Set aside the need for control and trust your child, and above all trust yourself. This is perhaps your biggest challenge.

3. Do you really need him/her to be graded by a teacher as “excellent” to feel proud of him/her and share it on social networks?
He/she just needs to feel that you love him/her and accept him/her unconditionally, just as he/she is, in his/her authenticity, without any judgement!

4. Do you really believe that, by wishing to protect him/her from pain, you are supporting him/her?
This need arises only from your anxiety, from your fears. Learn to experience and welcome every emotion you feel, and only then you are able to be the example they need to learn how to deal with pain and the natural imperfection of the world.

5. Does it hurt when someone from outside rejects you?
It is normal, and it will happen throughout your life. We cannot please everyone, and this is a sign of consistency with our values. The only rejection you can avoid is yours in relation to your child. If you feel it, it is deeply toxic and it means that you are rejecting yourself, a feeling that can dictate your end.

6. A social belief (conveniently) installed mumbles that “you are not a good enough mother”. Do you choose to keep feeding it?
It is time for you to stop. You always do the best you can and you know at each moment. Keep working on your best version.

7. Your child does not have the latest model of gaming console, mobile phone, surfboard…?
Great! Congratulations! He/she just needs your time, active listening, presence and attention. “Luxuries” (those that money buys) are secondary. Start listening to yourself, and then you are ready to listen to your child.

8. What if you stop saying that you have to change your whole life because of your child?
You just have to change the present moment! Just that! It is when you live! Besides that, it has never to do with your child, it has always to do your yourself, with the resources you have at each moment to deal with what life offers you.

9. Who sets the limits applied in the daily life of your family?
Were they created by all the elements of the household or are they rules imposed on you? Are they rules you grew up with? Do they make sense to you?

Because if they do not make any sense to you, your child will easily feel it and will naturally challenge you. It is an invitation to introspection and to review your intentions.

10. Do you feel the ‘Holon’ part of the great ‘Holon’?
We are all part of something greater and transcendent, the ‘Holon’.
I leave you a mantra so that you always remember this:

“You are the whole!
You are complete!
You are worthy!
When I see this in you, I see the same in me.”

Any kind of interaction you have with your child reflects your relationship with yourself. Your outer life is the reflection of your inner belief system and every event of your life is a call to the next step, for you to work on yourself, on your authenticity. And do you know something? Everything is always right, everything is always well.

O conteúdo Ten questions that can change your life aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.

30 minutes away from Lisbon, in Aveiras de Cima (Portugal), this massive green space reveals tresors in the shape of intense experiences to the sound of a Warm:

“Welcome to the country”, given by the dearest Sandro and Sissi, the souls of this magical place. This charming couple is joined by their daughter, the lovely Carlota and Maria Papoila and Maria Violeta, 2 delightful gipsy caravans (where you can stay over)-

Decorated with welcoming colors, a double bed, a mattress or a crib, heater, radio and a bathroom with a shower! We…LOVE IT!

And a family visit to Parque Rural do Tambor it’s also a way to connect with each other and with nature. Is to experience the opportunity to practice the key postulates of parenting. Is to nourish yourself with such simple and happy days!

Is to rest under the shade of trees, to wake up with the bleat of Amélia and Amália, two sheep so affectionate that. Are the delight of the little ones, which seize every chance, in a vain attempt, to catch them.

And, after sunset, is time to take off the shoes and seat on the floor, in a teepee, in front of the bonfire that warms the nights and souls of those who gather their to share.

It’s a common space and it allows for new friendships to blossom between families that share stories and experiences while roasting marshmallows. But there’s more: cicadas, toads and fireflies, gather to the party!

What’s impossible to find when you decide to make a family visit to Parque Rural do Tambor?

A pool, WiFi password, TV, restaurant, shopping center.

Nature and the well-being of those who live here and come to visit, comes first and the curfew is at 10 p.m. The perfect moment to live in the “here and now” under an endless starry sky. The days are filled with walks, between swings, rural traditional games from around the world, milking cows, animal tour, sack race, picnics, pony and horse rides and much more, till where your imagination takes you.

The return to Lisbon was marked by memories of happy days and the certainty that we will go back. Is still any doubts if you should or not make a family visit to Parque Rural do Tambor?

P.S- and I haven’t mentioned that Sandro, takes you a lovely breakfast to the caravan, in a picnic basket, with bread baked in the Parque!

O conteúdo Family visit to Parque Rural do Tambor aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.