Because there’s no mistake, only feedback and this is one of the basic principles of Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and is based in the fact that we always do the best we can and know at each moment.

Can you feel how lighter is your SELF now?! It’s so liberating and it doesn’t stop being empowering.

There is no mistake, there is feedback!

We can see it through the perspective that we spend life making “mistakes “. We loose the keys or we leave them home, we exceed the speed limit, we don’t put the coin in the parking meter, we swear…

And then, from the top of our ego, we demand to our children, still so little that they won’t do the same. We are the role models of our children, right?!

Forget the guilt and blames! Align your journey with your values and intentions. Only when our children are free from fear they can start learning, receiving feedback!

That is to say, they only grow and allow themselves to BE, when “mistakes “are windows of learning!

In this equation, there’s still space for us to judge them. How? When we have the pretension to believe that we know what was that led to the “mistake”.

And this way, we create in our children, students, a sense of powerlessness because we are judges and we pronounce the final verdict without allowing them to defend themselves.

Behaviour generates behaviour

And how many times (with the best intentions and perfectly unconscious) we compare them we friends and colleagues, ending up, so many times, ridiculing them.

You don’t think so? See if it sounds familiar: “you’re so forgetful!”, “you really have a bad temper “,  “you’re making up stories”, “you’re lazy, that’s why you haven’t tidy up your room!”, “you should feel ashamed of what you’ve said!”…

You know what will happen?

Your child will believe in all this and start to behave likewise! behaviour generates behaviour.

Last week I’ve shared with you that by changing your vocabulary you’re changing your life.

The moment you stop, breathe deeply, silence the judgments, open your arms and feel that when “mistakes” are windows of learning everyone wins, your lifes are flowing. You’re creating connection. You’re finally BEING, you’re at the service of a greater good, of your souls, of your essences.

Now go and allow yourself to make “mistakes”, over and over again, with extra amounts of unconditional love.

O conteúdo When “mistakes” are windows of learning aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.

To build profound and enduring relationships, to connect with yourself and with others, it is fundamental that you tune into the representational system * of the next. He will feel understood and the relationship may move on to new levels of sharing and trust. This way you are creating rapport.

We have a natural tendency to come closer to and to like of those who resemble more we us. In my courses, I usually say that: opposites only get attracted by electricity!

When there is a relationship of commitment, trust, openness, availability, harmony, cooperation, we say we are in rapport, there is empathy, syncing happens. This is why it is at the center of NLP Parenting. Magic happens!

But there is more, one of the greatest discoveries in neuroscience of the last century, showed that, for it to happen, we activate mirror neurons. It is not by chance that we experience what the other feels, even from a distance. Here, the mirror neurons have a crucial part.
They mirror your unconscious and store it in a memory base that are evoked when needed.

And you can write it down:

“Rapport it’s not about being interesting, it’s about being interested! And the other feels it.”

It is in the center of Parenting with NLP and of your life.Try it now:

There are many ways to build a rapport – with practice, you’ll see that it’s something you’ll do instinctively, with great results. What follows it isn’t an imitation exercise, it’s rather a syncing one:

• combine your breath to your child’s breath (or someone else you want to set a profound connection with). This way, you align your physiology.
• combine your body movements. What does that mean? That, if she crosses her legs, you do the same. If she leans forward, you do the same and forth.
• blink your eyes simultaneously as he does. Again, it will allow you to get in complete synchrony.

At first, it may seem weird, but believe that, this way you’ll build a faster and more profound rapport.

This exercise, besides, as I said, being very effective, it can also be very fun!

Consider your tone while speaking, your gestures, your touch, your pauses…

The goal of language is to establish an effective communication, so the more specific it is, the better the result of your communication will be.

By the way, how long don’t you get in rapport with yourself?

* Representational System – The different channels through which we present information, using for that our senses: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, taste (VAKOT). It’s also the way we express ourselves in the world: the sort of language, tone and body language.

O conteúdo It is in the center of Parenting with NLP aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.