Traditional forms of educations have failed. Now, we need to make a serious, conscious and in-depth reflection on what our intentions as parents and educators are, and what resources we really want to use to reach the answers that will enable us to create a harmonious, responsible and sustainable future for the humanity.

Parenting that starts with NLP and progresses to NLP & Generative

When I launched this new parenting proposal, I lovingly called it Parenting with NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). When I completed my certification as NLP Trainer and Consultant, and later in Generative Coaching, I felt that, just like me, this parenting went one level up, and should therefore be renamed – NLP & Generative Parenting. As Robert Dilts tells us, the generative part of this work arises from creativity, from creating something totally new, something that did not exist before.

“I raised my children, with my wife, using Neuro-Linguistic Programming (PNL) a lot”
Robert Dilts

The co-creator of Generative Work – Generative Coaching and Generative Consulting – recalls that: “the generative part in parenting, in families, is extraordinarily decisive. When we try to get somewhere that is unknown, even if other parents have gone through something similar, we create a unique new path that requires very specific tools and practices.” Robert Dilts assures that “this is, most likely, the most important field for introducing a generative change.”

In our delightful conversation, Robert confesses, “I raised my children, with my wife, using Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) a lot and introducing the principles of generative change, so that they could be in the world with self-esteem and positive attitudes.” Also, “so that they could grow up with strategies that enable them to succeed on their own.” The co-developer of NLP is proud of his two children, what they bring to the world and his own job as a parent. His blue eyes become even brighter when he recalls “their sense of confidence, their positive look towards life, their self-abilities,” something that, at first, “they emulate from parents and then is supported by parents,” he concludes.

Parenting that combines NLP with generative coaching and creates generative change

“The person I am is best expressed in the world.”
Robert Dilts

This proposal “teach us how to communicate effectively, how we can empower others, especially children, so that they can be themselves, guiding them at the same time,” he reinforces.

NLP & Generative Parenting reveals you the most effective conscious practices let you really know yourself, to make you reach your essence and find out “where you belong in the family and in the world, how you can bring about and live that identity,” Robert Dilts adds. Thus, the “channel is open and the person I am is best expressed in the world.” “I cannot find anything more important for a parent or teacher than doing this with a child,” he assures.

And you, do you choose to join us in this generative shift to a better world?

You are very welcome!

O conteúdo NLP & Generative Parenting by Robert Dilts and Rita Aleluia aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.

In September 2017, in Bali (where Gregory Bateson – one of the role models of NLP, has lived for three years to investigate something far ahead of his time, which he then put into his work “Balinese Character – A Photographic Analysis”), concrete steps began to be taken to put it on paper. New assumptions adapted to it are being created, new approaches to modelling (the basis of NPL) and much more. Thus, with the presence of Robert and Deborah Dilts, with the contribution of Stephen Gilligan and Judith DeLozier, we gathered 24 participants from all over the World – Master Practitioners, Trainers, Master Trainers and co-authors of NLP, and we started the co-creation, an exploration that goes far beyond techniques and tools. The first step was to model spiritual leaders (who we found out in the field to be ‘healers’) and to feel the importance of modeling communities instead of individuals.

Then, in January, in Alicante, at the NLP Leadership Summit, the 4th Generation NLP was formally presented. I am blessed to be part of the group of co-creators and to be able to contribute more actively to be and make the difference that makes the difference in our World.

Speaking of difference, I now summarize the discussion led by Robert in our working group at the NLP Leadership Summit.

The difference that makes the difference in 4th Generation NLP

The 1st Generation NLP was led by the cognitive mind (Cognitive Intelligence), from where a therapeutic model would emerge; in the 2nd Generation NLP, the somatic part, the beliefs (Somatic Intelligence) were introduced and the model of Coaching emerged; in the 3rd Generation NLP, there is already the notion of ‘field’ between two people (in a first phase – Relational Intelligence); now, by integrating that ‘field’ and taking it far beyond, in the 4th Generation NLP, just like what happens in Generative work (Generative Change), there is a “we” that broadens, a Spiritual Intelligence. “We” as a community, “we” as a part of a Planet. And the concept of ‘Holon’ and hologram arises. In a hologram, the whole is everywhere, and every part can recreate the whole.

In the 4th Generation NLP, the notion of spirit emerges, not in the religious sense but as a subjective experience, something that is beyond me. Quantum physics goes along these lines as well and has proven the notion of systems and the notion that unpredictable events arise from them. This is from where the ‘morphogenetic fields’ also arise, of which I will tell you in a future article.

We already know that “the map is not the territory” and that we are the result of subjective experiences. So, let’s understand how we do it in a practical way, without putting our maps of beliefs on top of what arises during the experience.

The 4th Generation NLP seeks to understand if the ‘field’ is the ‘source’ or if the ‘source’ is the ‘field’. It tries to understand two phenomena: something emerges, and I do not know where it comes from and something passes through me (I channel it).

The metaphor of iPhone and 4th Generation NLP

The 4th Generation NPL does not abandon the previous generations, it integrates them! Just like the various generations of iPhone. The first generation of iPhone had no Bluetooth or Wireless. Thus, with the passing of the generations, the ‘field’ has been broadening and has incorporated Wi-Fi, 3G… A new consciousness emerges as a result of the interaction between the various systems.

«It is impossible, in principle,
to explain any pattern by invoking a single quantity.»
Gregory Bateson

Co-creation continues throughout the world. It is a slow process which, like what happened in previous generations, can take years to be completed. But believe me, some things are worth all the time we wait for them. Until then, we remain connected, more and more aware of this. I promise to come back here and talk you about 4th Generation NPL, with news that are much bigger than us.

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On a visit to a cathedral, a tourist saw an artist working on a gigantic painting, on a wide wall to fill. Before that situation, the tourist couldn’t refrain his curiosity and dared to ask the artist:

Please tell me, you don’t get worried about all that empty space you need to paint, to fill? You don’t get worried, stressed, thinking about when you’ll be able to finish such a piece?

The artist throw him a tender smile and answered unaffectedly:

My dear, I only know what I can do daily. When I arrive, each morning, I highlight the area I will work on that day and I don’t allow myself to worry about the space still to fill. I take one day at a time and the painting will be finished on time.

And you, what are you afraid of? What might happen to your life if you would live one day at a time?

Much of the big obstacles and challenges that hold back and slow down our lives are like this big wall. We can worry about the huge space for the painting we have to create or, we can simply start filling it with amazing images, creative and unique – our lives imprint – doing the best we can and know at each moment, on each day that is given to us. In the end, we will have finished the best painting.

Where and when are you starting it? Well, breathe deeply, the best place to start is exactly where you are today: NOW!

O conteúdo If you live one day at a time aparece primeiro em Rita Aleluia.